Balancing Act

That pretty much sums up life, doesn't it?  Work, Home, Friends, Eating, Exercising...What is the right balance?

That is what I feel like I'm doing all the time with this diabetes business.  I really want to jump all into finding a cure.  This is all I want for my little girl.  Some days I'm o.k. with how we are "dealing" with it, but lately I am not as content as I was.  In the beginning there was shock, but releif too.  Relief in knowing why she was so sick looking all the time and now we have the reason and the medicine to make her "better".  But she's really not better, it's just a band aid until there is a cure.  So I find myself balancing now the attention I give diabetes.  I don't want her to feel sorry for herself, I want her to be proud of who she is.  Diabetes does not define her (which is partly why I think she does not want to be hooked to a pump), she wants those windows of freedom between injections and Glucose checks.  I want her to know that I feel terribly about this, but at the same time it is the life she has and she just needs to deal with it.  We balance what food she should eat and when, depending on her blood glucose numbers.  We balance out how much responsiblity to give her in her care (honestly she's a pro now).  But I also need to balance the attention she gets with the attention I need to give her 3 siblings.  It's not fair that she has diabetes, but it's not fair to her brothers and sister to get short changed on attention.  I want to battle this diabetes and jump in and help find a cure, but I don't want it to be what life is all about.  Which is also why I never refer to it as a "disease" (see note).  That just makes it sound awful....in our eyes....it is a condition.  And so I pray daily for the knowledge and strength to strike that right balance.

edited 2/15/2012 - O.K. so now I call it a disease because we hit that rollercoaster of numbers and frankly it's maddening, so yes I now call it a disease, but not to Abby.